Tuning: E A D G B E

[Intro] D Bm D Bm D Bm D Bm [Verse 1]

Of all the m^Dystery and w^Bmonder And b^Deauty on this e^Bmarth Not^Dhing c^Aan compa^Bmre to The m^Girac^Ale of b^Dirth Well your cervix has been c^Bmlosed And plugged with m^Ducus But soon that viscous p^Bmlug Will be disch^Aarged

It's called the bloody show!

And expl^Dosive diar^Bmrhea Means that l^Dabor's dra^Awing ne^Bmarer And those sh^Emarp painful contractions Cause your c^Aervix to enlarge

Beautiful!

Then you r^Dace your ass O^Bmver to the ho^Dspital

Where they'll strap you in

For the h^Bmell ride of your l^Aife

It's what your body's made for

Yo^Du'll soon be in so much p^Bmain That you'll p^Drobab^Aly excl^Bmaim "Please just k^Emill me now Doctor, doula, o^Ar midwife!"

[Chorus]

T^Gear, tear, t^Dear Goes your vag^Aina! Ne^Gver will it be Its c^Dute little self ag^Aain But the g^Good news is If you h^Dave a f^Aew more k^Bmids The r^Emest will basically P^Alop right out^D

[Verse 2]

After hours and h^Bmours Of utter to^Drture

You may poop yourself and/or

Th^Bmrow up as you bear d^Aown

Cause you're a goddess!

And though you've n^Dever Been this t^Bmired Wait! Here c^Domes the r^Aing of f^Bmire That's your vag^Emina bursting Into flames as the h^Aead

Starts to crown [Chorus]

B^Gurn, burn, b^Durn Goes your vag^Aina! And you'll cu^Grse and scream Until^D you hear a c^Ary!

It's your baby!

And oo^Gps! There it went-a Th^Dat was t^Ahe plac^Bmenta Which you m^Emust expel Or y^Aou will surely d^Die!

[Verse 3]

When it's all o^Dver they place The b^Bmaby on your br^Deast You may be happy for a m^Bmoment But then for m^Aonths you'll be depressed 'Cause you've wr^Decked your life and b^Bmody You'll think^D "What's it really w^Bmorth?" A^Dll t^Ahat ^Bmfor the m^Emirac^Ale of b^Dirth!

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast - The miracle of birth